Let’s rev up our engines-and discover or rediscover our “joy of sex” again … or for the very first time.
I’m not going to lie- I pretty much took my sexuality and my pleasure, whether it was with partners, or alone, for granted . My sexuality, though I was never driven by it, was and is a part of my core. It’s always had a special place in my heart and mind, one that I could always turn to for comfort and togetherness and what I thought would always be there…. I have mostly worked with adolescents and their parents over the past 35 years and I have always felt confident, that with my interest in, coupled with my theater background and extensive training in sexual health, I could talk about sexuality endlessly and passionately with them- in very creative ways, use innovative techniques to pique their attention, answer questions without hesitation, provide guidance and updated information and be a healthy resource for them- basically PREACH positive words and healthy techniques for staying sexually safe, happy and healthy. And then let them make their own wise decisions. Young peoples raging hormones, coupled with unbiased, medically accurate, trainings and workshops would hopefully take care of the rest. I was like the little engine that could- give kids the tools and let their freak flags fly safely. That is until I got breast cancer 10 years ago. And then I knew and felt what I never expected and what came as a shock.. Depression, lack of excitement- lack of desire- a divorce, losing partners and the lack of a partner who would understand – who would – I don’t know, support me, thru new and strange sexual times. And I began to realize that getting older, breast cancer or another life /death defying illness, and the medications that take away those hormones that make you feel fun, sexy and pretty satisfied- were, in essence all gone. Where was my own freak flag – and how and why did I lose it. It took me a while to realize and remember that I was definitely not alone- , that I had friends,, family, clients, and knew of probably thousands of other people who were feeling the same….. Where did it all go? What happened to the vitality I had always felt would be with me forever. THIS NEEDS TRANSITION- AND MAYBE IS JUST INITIAL RAMBLINGS BUT I THINK THERES SOMETHING IN HERE THAT WE COULD MASSAGE…… This new series of workshops isn’t that talk or series of talks with your doctor or therapist- nope it’s none of that….
IGNITE Rather, OLDER and BETTER is designed with one goal in mind----to get back to that playful space and place where we reignite ( OR FOR THE FIRST TIME, IGNITE) our feeling being alive, where talking about sex and sexual behaviors are safe and fun, central to our core being, whether or not we, at our age and with our new wisdom, decide to become sexual with ourselves or with a partner. Onward!
PLEASURE (this will be a new blog) So I began digging deep into what make us as older people derive the most pleasure from and what makes us feel sad, miserable- where do we go from here if don’t have our sexuality to boost us up I realized that in essence, Ken and I could use similar techniques/workshops that we had always done with such great gusto for adolescents to get them to feel comfortable and safe to talk about their own anxieties, and fears, could be applied to us older adults- And Ken I love the workshops you wrote up. I forgot that this was our primary method of communicating about sexual issues with young people and what benefits they brought to the discussions we had. They make me remember how we dealt with urgent issues in the most creative ways and how successful they were.