Where did my libido go?

From A User's Guide to Midlife: NY Times

Why can it happen. to men?

Both men and women can experience. a decline in sex drive in middle age for a variety of reasons.

Why can it happen to men? Sometimes, hormones are to blame. Concerns about low testosterone have received a lot of attention, and levels do drop with age. However, most men will continue to retain normal levels throughout life. Exactly how many men experience testosterone deficiency is hard to pinpoint. For men who have clinically low testosterone, or hypogonadism, testosterone therapy can help treat symptoms, including decreased muscle mass, depression and fatigue and low libido. Whether testosterone therapy is beneficial and safe for men who don't have hypogonadism is less clear, the treatment hasn't been tested in this population in a large clinical trial. There's more to libido than testosterone, though. According to one recent estimate, roughly a quarter of men 45 to 54 experience difficulty with their erection, and that percentage increases with age. Erectile dysfunction can make men self-conscious and less eager to have sex. Erectile dysfunction can occur for a variety of reasons - including hypertension, high cholesterol and diabetes - and can be treated with medication or lifestyle ichanges, including exercise and a healthy diet. Think about it this way - whatever is good for your heart is good for your penis, and it's going to be good for your libido, too!

Why can it happen to women?

Why can it happen to women? Changing hormone levels in midlife can also affect wome's sex drive, albeit more indirectly. The few studies on the topic don't show a clear correlation between declining estrogen during menopause and low libido, and estrogen hormone therapy doesn't appear to increase sex drive. Women who experience frequent hot flashes and sleep disruption are more likely to report low libido, though, and the vaginal dryness that emerges for some women in menopause can make sex painful. Treating these symptoms can improve a woman's well-being, and in turn, her interest in sex. Psychosocial factors most likely play a bigger role. Research ha shown that relationship quality, stress, fatigue and other health issues, including depression, all influence postmenopausal women's sex drive. When you have mental bandwidth that's being taken up by stressors, it makes sense that you may not have as much mental bandwidth to think about intimacy. Psychosocial issues can plague men as well, though they may have trouble accepting there's any psychosocial aspect to sexual concerns. If you're concerned about your sex drive, talk to your partner and consider seeing a sex therapist. You can also ask your gynecologist or urologist to check for any physical health concerns. And while libido does tend to drop off as we get older, it never goes away. You are never too old for sex!